I'm learning how to be a Crone. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm old although I am, and it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a hag or a witch although I am those things too. Definitions for the word "crone" often include, "ugly", "mean", or "wicked" and I suppose I have my moments when I am those things too. But those are not the things that make a Crone. A Crone is an elder, wise woman. She is a healer, a singer of songs, a keeper of the cook fire, a teller of tales....she is a woman who has a great deal of experience in life and she is willing to share what she's learned with others. That's why I want to be a Crone.
Crones tend to lead solitary lives so it's not like we have kiosks at the local mall and we're not inclined to go out searching for people who need our help but we know, oh how well we know, that sometimes people will sort of stumble blindly or "accidentally" into our lives so there's no need to go out looking for them. They'll find us when the time is right. That's when the Crone will lovingly nourish the one who has a need as best we can. Or maybe they need a kick in the ass and we're happy to do that too. Lovingly, of course. Sometimes it's information they need, and sometimes it's simply to know they aren't alone in their struggle.
I'm a follower of the Jungian psychoanalyst, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes and she has devoted a lot of her work to the importance of being a Crone, especially about why it's important for Crones to tell stories. She says:
“The story is not told to lift you up, to make you feel better, or to entertain you, although all those things can be true. The story is meant to take the spirit into a descent to find something that is lost or missing and to bring it back to consciousness again.”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés
And so it is that we tell stories. There are lots of reasons beyond just those. I tell stories to entertain myself because sometimes we need to take a walk with our memories and be at peace with our past. And sometimes I tell stories because there have been things in my life that someone else needs to hear. I don't know who they are or what their stories are, but if there's one thing I've learned in this lifetime, it's not to keep your mouth shut if you've been through something difficult because if you've gone through it, that means that there is someone else out there who is going through it too and maybe, just maybe, your story will act as a a road map for them....sometimes simply bringing comfort in knowing that they aren't alone and sometimes giving them information they need to make an informed choice in their own life.
My brain has always been prone to odd and irrational detours in its train of thought. I'd like to blame it on the strokes but there are people who knew me before and could testify to that eccentricity long before a medical alibi could be established. Damn. And so it is that I started this blog a long time ago and then life came along with a few more detours in my medical care and I wasn't able to write for awhile. That happens all too often and if it were my own body that had caused the issues, it would be one thing, but once again the health crisis was caused by a pharmaceutical company with a lot of help from insurance companies. I think I'll save that story for its own post because it's too important to be lost. For now, I'm fighting hard to get back on my feet to continue writing letters to no one as often as I can, because I'm a Crone and I have stories to tell.
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